Tuesday, January 5, 2010

2010: Plan v. Focus

Resolutions.

I don't believe in making them.

Instead, I typically create my "Focus 20xx."

Every year, as we enter the holiday season, my mind goes to my life's course. What did I accomplish this year?
In what direction am I headed? Do I need to alter it? Have I allowed myself to veer off-course? Have my desires changed? What do I need to remove from my life and what do I want to add? Have I remained true to myself and have I maintained my integrity?

My emergence from this ensconced process brings a clear focus for each aspect of my life: professional, relational, spiritual, financial, physical, ...

But, this year.
This upcoming 2010 year.
I'm lost.


One would think clarity would be a given since I have put closure to several people, places, and things over the past ten days.

'Should' is my stumbling block.
Opportunities.
Pressure from well-meaning family and friends.

I'm stuck on 'should.'
What should I want? Where should I go? How should I get there?
These questions are so easily answered.
But they are the opposite of what I want and what will make me happy.
For some reason, despite knowing in my heart what I will decide, I feel I must torture myself with the pressures of 'should.'
For just a little while.


And so I retreat to the place that always balances me ~ the ocean.
Fortunately, this year, that happened to be just across the street.

Dorado del Mar, Puerto Rico.

I revisit my "Karen's Life Equities" to help me begin to move away from feeling lost ...
1. Laugh - laugh hard, laugh a lot, laughter will get you through
anything
2. Dream - never stop dreaming, never stop pursuing your drea
ms
3. Move Forward - always move forward, grow, expand your mind
4. No Missed Opportunities & No Regrets
~ August, 1998

Move forward.
The key.
Clarity quickly begins ...

I feel a need for something more definitive than a 'focus' this year. I n
eed something that guarantees I get what I want. And what I want right now, what I need, is not simply progress on my long-term goals. I want three things, and I want them now.

As I sat on a beach chair with my feet in the sand and water flowing around me before rolling back out to sea, my pen scribbled wildly.

plan
[plan] : a definite purpose.
fo⋅cus [foh-kuh s] : a central point of attention.

Forget focusing.

I have my "2010 Plan."

Lost no more.

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