Triggers

Life has a funny way of checking in with us to see if we are on our game.

It seems when you have been sailing along smoothly, the wind will suddenly stop. There isn't a storm.  No crashing waves.  Just a pause.  The same lovely sunny, cloudless day.  

I recently came to terms with myself on an aspect of my life and it has been exhilarating!  I hadn't been on a quest to resolve anything or make a decision ~ I just awoke one day to a new realization and have been smiling ever since.  And, of course, in typical Karen fashion, I've openly and freely shared with friends and acquaintances.

la la-la la-la la-la ...

And then, when recently I was walking down the street on a lovely morning sharing my new 'life insight' with a friend...wham-o!  My words had not even finished passing through my lips when, there it was ... life checked in with me.  At those moments, we know very well why life tries to ascertain our stance.  And we find ourselves denying our denial.

Which always sets off a chain of events ... 

Seven years ago, I ended my sabbatical in Europe with an email to friends answering everyone's questions.  Several had asked what was my most profound moment.  I'll never forget that moment nor being so emotionally shaken that "It made me clearly see four things I needed to remove from my life in order to receive what I want the most."  Since my stroll down the street on that gorgeous morn, I've thought about that time seven years ago and those four things.  Three have been gone from my life.  And the fourth...  The fourth.  I've 'tried' & 'tried' to remove the fourth.  And I've fought myself the entire time.  

So life checks in again, now, to see if I'll take the step allowing myself to have what I deny that I want.

Being Still Together

About seven years ago, by way of example, Natalie Bauman reminded me what life, family, and friendships are truly about.  While these are not my words, below are the lyrics to a song I love ~ written by Sarah Groves.  Every time I hear it, I think of days when I received a phone call or an email from Natalie inviting a few of us to come by her house any time for some homemade soup.  She would be home all evening, and we were invited to stop by whenever was convenient for us and to stay for as little or as long as we chose.  I'm not sure what put this song on my mind today.  Maybe the passing of my Aunt Barbara.  Maybe because I'm missing my family in Cincinnati today.  Maybe it's that I'm taking my first day in weeks to stop and simply enjoy a lazy sunny day in the park.  Regardless, I hope these words cause your heart and mind to wander as well ...

I am long on staying

I am slow to leave

Especially when it comes to you my friend

You have taught me to slow down

And to prop up my feet

It's the fine art of being who I am

And I can't figure out

Why you want me around

I'm not the smartest person I have ever met

But somehow that doesn't matter

No it never really mattered to you at all

And at the risk of wearing out my welcome

At the risk of self-discovery

I'll take every moment

And every minute that you'll give me.

And I can think of a time when

families all lived together

Four generations in one house

And the table was full of good food

And friends and neighbors

But that's not how we like it now

Cause if you sit at home you're a loser

Couldn't you find anything better to do

Well no I couldn't think of one thing

I would rather waste my time on

than sitting here with you

And I wish all the people I love the most

Could gather in one place

And know each other and love each other well

And I wish we could all go camping

And lay beneath the stars

And have nothing to do and stories to tell

We'd sit around the campfire

And we'd make each other laugh remembering when

You're the first one I'm inviting

Always know that you're my friend

And at the risk of wearing out my welcome

At the risk of self-discovery

I'll take every moment

And every minute that you'll give me

To answer your question...

I've received numerous emails inquiring when I'm going to post more of my writing (such as my second post on this blog).  The original plan was to include many of my writings, however, I learned that anything I post online is considered 'published' and therefore I am not able to publish separately.  And after seven years, I'm finally writing that book on my sabbatical.  So I'm limited to what I can post, and my limited time for writing is dedicated to my book rather than new material.  In the meantime, I'll try to ensure posts are of interesting & various 'wanderings.'